Invader Zim in a Nutshell
by Mumi Why
Summary: It's 10:53. I'm publishing your nightmares and dreams at the same time. I really should NOT be allowed to write up Fanfiction this late. Goodbye, human beings. I'm not going to sleep.


There was once a race of an alien species called Irkens.

They wanted to invade planets, but there first mission failed.

Because of an Invader named Zim.

Hehehe an Invader named Zim should be the movie name.

He destroyed pretty much every Invader.

He also killed his previous leaders, but that's a whole other story.

The accurately named current leaders, Almighty Tallests Red and Purple exiled him.

He was exiled to a place called Foodcourtia.

It was like a Foodcourt, but in space!

After planets of slaughtering rat people and comfortable couches were assigned, FIRETRUCKING ZIM ARRIVED.

Red the red leader and Purple the purple leader were surprised.

Ehehehe think of them as invaders.

Invader Red and Invader Purple.

That sounds funny.

After all, the Invader who's name was almost the main species of a popular life simulation game had just escaped his exile!

Somehow.

And he doesn't give a crap.

Come to think of it, does he even know he was exiled?

He gets assigned to the great planet Question Mark on a Post-It note.

Of course, since he has an ego the size of The Sloan Great Wall, he didn't notice it was another banishment.

He also gets a sandwich at some point.

Dammit that made me hungry.

And it's 9:52 PM, too.

Be right back, I'm getting some vanilla ice cream.

Okay, where was I?

Oh yeah!

He got a robot pretty much as defective as he is.

His robot is named GIR.

Can GIR growl?

Giiirrrr I'm a monster!

Zim goes off, and makes the mistake of using the word "DOOM!"

GIR sings the Doom Song.

It is true torture.

Meanwhile, on Earth, someone who surely called Dibs on his name heard something from a transmission.

"Curly Fries"

RED, PURPLE, GET YOUR SNACKS ALREADY!

Dib was flipping out.

Maybe because intergalactic beings knew of such finery as twirly fries.

Oops, I meant swirly fries.

Oh crap I meant burly fries.

Screw this I'm out.

Dib tells his younger sister, Gasoline, about it.

She doesn't believe him.

But why would she?

He is her dad's poor, insane son.

Anyway some things happen and we're back to Intrador Shimm.

Along with his malfunctioning robot RIG, he has to come up with a disguise.

Oh, I meant GRI!

No, IRG.

I think I got it-RGI!

Yeah, RGI.

Let's to with that.

Sim gets glasses you put in your eyes and fake hair.

RGI gets something that looks like a green and black set of dog pajamas.

The disguises suck.

So does the house ZIIIM makes on his Nokia.

It goes in an alleyway.

Apparently that magical irken Nokia of wonder and magic is also a 3-D printer.

His 'base' is conspicuous.

Some time passes.

That teacher from Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee has make a universe warp into this show.

Zimmy-Zim gets to be a new student.

Dibby-Dib thinks Zim is an alien.

His classmates accuse him of racism.

Zirmm just has a skin condition.

Also, what product does Dib use for his hair.

It sticks up like a lightning bolt.

Nobody cares about Dib or his reasons.

Later they jump out windows to get out.

It makes sense in context.

GRI is being stupid as ever when he gets back.

Once I read a fanfic where he was in Mexico.

That was the whole fanfic.

RGI in Mexico.

Also, the tall leaders who I'm sure are just in robot suits think he died.

They're surprised when he's alive and contacting them.

But the saga continues on.

This is going to be long.

Waste all the time you'd like to here.

Ready for the next bit of insanity?

Good, because this is going to be the longest one-shot in the history of all one-shots.

Or maybe not, I dunno.

This next one is about Keef.

Keef reminds me of Kale.

I don't know why.

Keef.

Kale.

Keef.

Kale.

Zom is lonely.

All is sad in the world.

A blonde girl points out how alien it is he has no friends.

Everyone's favorite urken is scared.

Now my autocorrect makes urken into irken.

Oh crap, why?

Sim tries to make a friend.

The target runs away, screaming until his face falls off.

Okay, that might be a SLIGHT exaggeration.

Then he meets the misfits, and they all live happily ever after and have quirky adventures.

Haha no.

He does strange things to him.

He throws them into puddles of water.

He tries to use them as outlets.

He taxi-beavers them.

Whatever that is.

Only Kale survives.

The others want to crawl into a hole for the rest of the episode.

I hope they do.

I think they survived.

Keef did well when he rolled initiative, didn't he?

That makes them friends.

It's horrifying.

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Even I admit that last bit was completely unrelated.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Kale and Zmi draw horrible pictures of eachother.

Actually, only Zim's was horrible.

Kaaf's was just creepy.

And stalker-ish.

And perverted.

And slightly nightmare inducing.

Also, Keef begins to stalk Zim obsessively.

Zim fires him from being his friend.

It doesn't work.

Because Kale is Kale.

You can't stop him.

Zim lies to his bestest friend.

He says he has acute coryza, nasopharyngitis, cold, head cold, or rhinopharyngitis.

Choose one!

They're all the same thing, though, more or less.

Kaaf just throws a party instead.

Everyone comes, even hose who weren't going to come.

Because Kaff's just that cool.

Zim wants to give him a gift.

Now, this is wher they make up and everything ends all happily ever after and you don't hav any need to worry about anything, right?

Wrong.

He rips Kale's eyes out and replaces them with robot eyes instead.

Now, Zim is simply a random squirrel.

Why is my longest fanfic a parody?

Next, Zerm becomes nanoanoanoano.

Or just nano for short.

Why are you still reading this crap?

Oh screw this.

I'm not making this a one-shit anymore.

Crap I accident swore.

Don't swear, kids, or you'll be like me!

In need of a real life.

So, anyway, NonoZam and Human Guardian Learning Unit Evening will be up next!

* * *

 **I should sleep now. Instead I'm just going to watch more SquidGirl. R &R.**


End file.
